I have just passed the date at which the mortgage on the home my husband and I bought would have been paid off. I say ‘would have’ because it didn’t quite happen the way we planned.
We were both working hard and had planned to pay off the mortgage in fifteen years. The fifteen years would have actually been reduced by some months because when I could, I secretly added more of my personal spending money to the check to reduce the principal. It would have been my surprise to my husband. Another ‘would have’ that didn’t happen.
Officer Friendly died only four years into our mortgage. (I’m not being cold or disrespectful here), so I had to refinance and reduce the mortgage payments to what I could manage while being the sole breadwinner and caring for my granddaughter.
The loan got changed to just me and extended . . . . beyond my life expectancy, probably and my extra mortgage money went to pay for day care and life has gone on.
But when I turned the calendar to that magic date when the home would have been ours, I realized how little I care for the math in the aftermath his passing. (Still not being cold-hearted here. I miss OF, too)
The household income was reduced by more than half and the mortgage loan was more than doubled so I could reduce my monthly payments. Two became one, fifteen really became thirty-five, and the bank will make a profit on grief.
So just how does one celebrate the non-anniversary of a refinanced mortgage on a home that coulda, woulda, shoulda been ours this week?
I threw myself a ‘replace the screen on the screen door party’ , spent time in my garage with the screen door in a horizontal position while I plucked old staples out of the frame and then took myself to a movie so I could take time to remember where I hid the staple gun on myself since the last time I used it. After the movie, I unrolled the new screen on the door frame, found the staple gun, finished the task and just called it my chore for the day.
Those lines are not kinks. The indentations will work themselves out. and if the screen looks loose to you, it is. Loose is better than too tight for thermal expansion and contraction AND if you have anyone who uses their butt to prop the door open while they fish for their keys. 😉
I’m not sure the math in the aftermath will work in favor of me celebrating the new loan actually being paid off while I still have my own teeth, pretty good hearing, and still walk reasonably upright, but I can’t worry about it. There are other chores to do and more calendar pages to turn. ~